Flammable vs Inflammable

Apparently, they do mean the same thing, as our gracious leader so delicately pointed out.

That being said, here is a list of things that are definitely not my fault while you were away:
1. The front door being locked=Gir. He thought'd it be funny. By the time we figured out you were standing outside, the exterior turret guns were out of bullets and Bloodthirsty Teddy had found Nacho Cheese from somewhere--hence the carpet.
2. Everything else that went wrong.
3. The reason there is no pudding for dessert is that someone broke into the locked freezer and tried to poison your portion with the mint julep.
4. I think it was Amazing Steve--who is not amazing, but is still, unfortunately alive and probably the one who did the whole julep thing.
5. Whatever Gir did.