Tracking Gir

Well, Gir should be easy to find without putting a tracker on him.

Apparently, he has decided to practice a Moonlit Sonata for Evie. So I'm keeping him in the freezer.

A New Smoker

Scallops are wonderful smoked. Because true smokers are fairly expensive and not in The Secret Bunker's budget, I took advantage of the recent explosion in the laundry room.

Admittedly, cotton does not have the same smokey flavor as hickory (or even Pine Sol), but there is a certain clean flavor to the scallops now. Much better than that time I had to use Camels (cooking school is not as straight-forward as you'd think...). The fact that the bomb was actually a cuckoo clock did give a woodsy scent to the whole affair.

An Infestation

Well, I think that we've been invaded. I'm still not entirely sure by what, but ever since those violin cases have been moved to storage, I've been noticing a strange whining sound in the freezer. To my experienced ear, it sounds like a person (minion perhaps?) is bound and gagged to a metal chair with duct tape. However, we here at the Secret Bunker know better than to use duct tape in the freezer. Last time it took forever to get the gum off of the ice. We had to defrost everything.

So, no, definitely not a human being trapped freezing in the ice box.

I think it might be rats. I'll just wait a couple hours to make sure that the little bastards freeze. Then maybe they can be roasted. (Sorry guys: Still haven't made it to the grocery store--Whole Foods was all out of fresh figs and miso the last time I was there and they still seem to have trouble locating the manager. Guess it's off to the Circle K. Again.)